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THE DILEMMA

WHO are you supporting in Moscow?
That's the agonising conundrum a fellow Red in the office put to me yesterday which pretty much left me defeated whichever way I thought about it.
Ok, so neither is the obvious answer, but most of us will probably be watching the final and I'm sure we'll be secretly half-siding with one of the horrible lot, if only to pile the misery on the other.
So who do we pick?

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I think most Reds are pretty much agreed on the Premiership toss-up. Liverpool fans are largely keeping their fingers crossed that Chelsea pip Man Utd in the league to stave off a 17th league title, that will leave them just one behind us.
The Champions League final, however, is another matter.
Our dislike of Man Utd is long and well-established for obvious reasons and there has been no better hate figure over the years than Alec himself.
The unsportsmanlike interviews, the gum, the reddening face, the stopwatch, the touchline behaviour - all very unsavoury for a 66-year-old.
Conversely, over the last few years, my dislike for Chelsea has grown apace and now I almost put them top of the bile pile.
It's their manufactured fans, the desire to try and invent some kind of history and tradition, and that all consuming arrogance they stride about with just because a muppet-faced Russian boy has by chance decided to chuck down wads of cash all over the streets of Fulham and Hammersmith from high above in his private jet.
As I've stated previously, the flag tactic for the CL second leg just about summed them up, as did their pumped Master of Cermonies who strolled around the pitch announcing the teams with a microphone in his hand, behaving like he was the pre-match entertainment before the Monster Trucks rolled out.

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Then there's the chants. Ok, so we expect songs to be less than complimentary about the opposition.
But, 'You are sh**, you are sh**!' and You're support is f****** sh**!' are an insult to the genuine inventive terrace lyricists of the past.
Onto the players, there's plenty not to like in the Chelsea squad. There's our lovely England captain Terry, the diving Drogba, Chopper Carvalho, most hated player in the Prem Ashley Cole, Mikel and Lampard.
My worry with Chelsea winning the Champions League is that it starts to give them momentum to become a big club and allows them the chance to leave an imprint of note on the past.
Somehow, every football fan in the Premiership still desperately hopes that Abramovich will get tired and take his billions away from the posh end of London and invest it in speedway or bobsleigh racing.
Yes, Man Utd have got pots of cash, and Liverpool, Arsenal, Spurs and Newcastle have slightly smaller pots of cash.
Where Chelski lose sympathy is that they have no sense of economy and there is no necessity to balance the books.
What's that you say? £40m Shevchenko ain't working out!? No matter, we'll just go and blow £50m on Ronaldinho! Job's a good'un!
Then there's the habit of buying up the best player from each Premiership side and playing them in the reserves.
That's why we should have no time for the tears of people like Sidwell, Wright-Philips and Johnson. You made your bed boys.

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Onto Man Utd, who have always been our biggest rivals, and who I suspect most Reds will want to see fall down in Moscow.
Player-wise, they're not as bad now as the dark posturing days of Cantona, vein-bulging Keane, Bruce, and the weasel Heinze (made up we didn't sign him).
But they do still employ Ronaldo, Neville Neville's son (has he retired now?), the swaggering Rooney and...Ferdinand. Another England captain.
Incidentally, any discerning football fan should read David Hills Said and Done column in the Observer.
It's very funny and Ferdinand features regularly. (Here's an example of his stuff - www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/feb/03/1)
Strangley, I don't find them as unpallatable as I used to, probably because of Chelsea's obnoxious rise.
We've also had the bizarre scenario of Ferguson actually praising Liverpool in interviews over the last couple of years.
It seems he actually likes Benitez. But then, as Liverpool haven't had a real dent at the title for ages, Alec's not in the business of chucking brimstone at his third most threatening adversary.
But, Ferguson still has a big chunk of irritating inside him, and it all came rising to the surface after they went out the cup to Portsmouth.
That ref blast was ridiculous. He's never been a good loser has Smart Alec. And as for all that manager mind games, it's just infantile rather than clever in my book.
Oh, and I've nearly forgotten the Old Trafford penchant for intensely annoying keepers - Schmiechel had that one boxed off, but Van der Sar is coming on strong.
Has anyone else noticed the way Edwin goes beserk if any centre forward so much as thinks about going in for a 50-50 on him?
It's all feigned outrage, followed by him lying prostrate on the floor, and then him going through the motions of trying to loosen his shoulder socket with an anguished look on his face.
Wear a hat like Cech, mate.


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One thing that United fans have going for them, over and above Chelski fans, is that they are from the north.
And there's nothing quite like seeing the cockneys taken down a peg or two.
But could we stomach three European Cups for Man Utd? That only puts them two behind us, and we've always had Europe to crow over them.....
And I don't think I could handle the Mancs coming up to Anfield and singing about being Champions of Europe.
Of equal annoyance are those camera shots of an ageing Ferguson, mouth agog, as Man Utd get closer and closer to goal.
Watch Rafa, Alec, Restrained when we score, not much smiling, making notes. Showing some decorum.
So, there you have it. I don't think I have drawn any sort of conclusion there.
Let's have an abandoned game through some sort of parachute stunt man sailing down into the arena and getting tangled with the UEFA corporate advertising boards.
They can't free him, they can't play around him, there's no spare date for a replay, so they call it a draw.
You can have a half each. Chelsea will have won half a European Cup and Man Utd two-and-a-half.
Sounds fair to me. Saw that metal trophy into two equal portions.
Bit jagged round the edges, but that's what happens when those crazy parachute guys get to work.
Remember the bloke who invaded Holyfield/Bowe at The Garden like that? Poor fella got battered by the heavies.
But I digress.
The one thing we can be satisfied with is that at least one group of 30,000 fans will be teary eyed in the Russian capital on May 21.
Half our joy, but also, half our misery.


Comments (8)

andy:

Chelsea fans are *****, but the club seems less hateable since the greasy one left.

I can't for the life of me understand how any Liverpool fan could want the mancs to win either the league or EC.

The only worse scenario would be if the bitters were in Chelsea's position.

lee s:

Hello Luke,

Interesting stuff, from when I played my rugby and football if we were ever knocked out of a cup and I would want the team who knocked us out to go on and win and I would tell that that too, guess its something along the lines of well if you have beat us then you deserve to gone on and win it.

It is difficuilt with both teams in both positions, purely in football terms you have to say UTD probably deserve both the most, they are more entertaining and play better football, but as you say they will be closing in on our records and that does grind the teeth a bit.

Therefore I could stomach the less of the two evils, Chelsea winning the league and old big ears and UTD winning nothing, Fergusons big red nose would be glowing and he would probably choke on his wrigleys.

In reality I think Chelsea will win the cup (and create a little bit of history for the faceless club) and UTD will take the league,
we have got to continue to support what we beleive is the best team in world football and hope we get it right next year.

Norman:

What a toughie.
How can I choose between two evils? It's like saying who would you rather go to bed with - Gillian McKeith or Anne Robinson?
You'd find it hard (or not...)deciding either way.
Well for what it's worth I'm going to back United in the champion's league final and Chelsea in the league.
That way at least the mancs don't come that bit closer to our record of titles.
It really will rankle though having to listen to the West London rent boys singing about winning the league again.

Kremlyn Hughes:

Good debate Luke.
Got to be United. As you say, at least their Northern.
Chelsea fans are so annoying it's beyond belief.

mat m:

yeah a draw wouldbe the ideal scenario! as a result of a bloody massacre in the red square...

Harold Potter:

I suppose I'll end up rooting for the team that annoys me least as the match unfolds, so there's not much point in picking sides at this juncture. If dirty Drogba starts up with his theatrics then I'll want to see him go home empty handed. On the other hand if one team plays in a particularly admirable way, I may find myself swayed mid-game.

I'm not too worried about United getting close to the records Liverpool have set- that should be the impetus for us to win more. Isn't the reason we want the Premiership so much a result of United's success in it?

Not a fan of Fergie, but i have to respect his achievements. He's shown how to build a squad back up after the demise of the Utd Old Guard, and that's the mark of great manager. I must admit I find Avram Grant quite likeable. He's taken some really mean spirited criticism with admirable composure and provided Chelski with a much lacking component - humility.

Whatever happens, at least i can now leave the Kalms on the shelf of the pharmacist!

splinter:

its a funny thing that the most important decision of your life is not taken by you but by your dad;or family: when i was born before i could even speak i was in a liverpool jersey and when i could understand language my dad said ,son your lucky and privilaged to support liverpool:you could have been born in manchester:always pity those who support manchester they are a sad breed:so chelsea for me :

Kopholic:

If I don't watch it then technically I won't have seen either win then they'll both be as far behind !

I'm going to go for the chavs in both. I hate the Mancs. Maureen's gone and just to hear all those two faced chavs going on about how much they love Grant would be histerical (not quite as hysterical as Gerrard getting the ball back though !).

Still, the ressies are on the verge of a quadruple and reached the final in the other competition.

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